20 March 2017

What if You Don't Have a Dream Wedding?

Once in a while, a love story happens. We meet the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with, and you're one lucky girl or boy if they feel the same way.

So yes, I am getting married, and people are excited, but there's one little catch...

I don't know what I want. I don't really have a "dream wedding" and that's a really big problem.

You see, growing up, I wasn't really that girly. Ironic isn't it how a tomboy-ish little old me became a beauty blogger -- but anyway, as I was saying, I wasn't really into "girly stuff." Yes, I watched Disney movies and I know almost all of the Disney princesses, but I didn't really have a dream to walk down the aisle in a poofy ball gown. If I had to choose a Disney princess, I would definitely be Mulan. Did Mulan walk down the aisle? Nope. Did Mulan wear a poofy ball gown? Nope. Did Mulan dream about marriage? Nope.

And that I think is my biggest problem. I really don't have a clear perspective of what I want. I'm a little more pragmatic and I have a let's-just-get-it-done-with attitude, so I don't really care about the details. A good thing though is I know what I don't want.

Maybe if I get it down to the who, what, where et cetera, I'll have a clearer picture in mind..? Hmm... Okay, let's try it! :)

The Groom...
Reg and I met during our third year of college at University of Santo Tomas last 2010. I was waiting for a friend in front of Plaza Mayor a.k.a. UST Main Building and when I was just about to go home, a common friend introduced us. Who knew that the word "Hi" could lead to so much more. Right?

I think what made us "click" is that we're both serious people. Okay, you can totally call us boring. But we really have a don't-waste-my-time attitude. Crazily, on our first month together, we had an agreement that if one of us felt like we were falling out of love, we had to tell each other and break up. Has that ever happened though? Ugh... Not really. I think one thing we always argued about was how to be a "better person" when it came to our work, our friends, our families, and our relationship.

Honestly, the biggest fights we had were about moving up the relationship ladder and getting married. We really had different views on the process and how to get there, but we still had the same goal of being together and getting married.

In the end, neither one of us got what we wanted. But we're here now right? We're actually going to get married and that's what's important.

What's our wedding theme and motif?
Huh? What the heck is a wedding theme? All your wedding suppliers will ask you this question and apparently, it's like a reflection of our style as a couple. Okay, so what's our style?

Remember how I said we're both a serious couple? Automatically, what came to mind is that it would be very formal and it would have elegant designs and centerpieces. When I imagined it, it came off as very normal and boring.

We don't have a hobby together. We don't really travel as a couple. We also don't have a favorite movie or something.

So how the hell do we create a theme right?

All I know is that I don't want it to be regular and boring. I wanted something casual, something breezy where all of us would be able to eat, socialize and take pictures with happy faces. That's the only thing I can think of.

This is the easiest part!
The first thing you have to do in planning your wedding is securing a church date! If you think this is easy, go shoot. Newsflash! You're not the only couple getting married in this country. Other couples schedule their weddings two years ahead -- some even three. So, if you're thinking about matching numbers, be prepared to reserve that date the moment you get engaged because weekends, and matchy-matchy numbers are hard to save and are probably already booked.

Wait, there's more... If you follow certain traditions, you also have to align them. Like our date for example. We're both born in the year of the horse. Roosters and horses don't really go hand-in-hand, and that's why I had to schedule mine in February 2018, after Chinese New Year.

If you don't follow any traditions at all, I would suggest get married as soon as possible. Why??? The less days you have planning, the less days you have being stressed. If I could pull the year closer, I promise you, I would.

We knew we didn't want to hold our wedding in a hotel.
One thing we both agreed on was that we didn't want our wedding done at a hotel. I specifically didn't want a boxed room with a lot of drapes on the ceiling. I really, really didn't want that typical hotel feeling.

Reg and I wanted a wedding in the south. I wanted a casual garden wedding -- imagine fresh air, a lot of greenery, family and friends all in one location. We initially thought Tagaytay, but when I saw St. Benedict in Nuvali, I kind of had a "this is it" feeling. This was where I wanted to walk down the aisle.

How's wedding planning going?
Honestly, we didn't start off on the right path. We made a LOT of mistakes and we're still learning as we go. We tried listening to everything people around us had to say, and that was the biggest mistake we made -- and probably will still make as we move forward.

We tried to please people so much that it just made a big mess... It really steered our plans away from the simple wedding that we wanted. It comes to a point that wedding planning wasn't fun anymore just because these people had so many negative things to say. I swear it's become stressful as fck.

Other couples would say "Never mind their opinions" or "Don't listen to them anymore" and that I think is the most amazing advice ever since we started wedding planning.

You see, at the end of the day, it's not about the entourage and who's who... It's not about the food... It's not about the reception... It's not about the gown. The wedding is actually about us, me and Reg. People somehow forget that this wedding is about our union as husband and wife. These people around us are so focused on making a "show" for our friends and relatives and that's the part that I hate the most. Like why do I need to impress people I don't even see on a daily basis? See my point there?

All I want right now is to get this wedding over with and be with the person I love. I'm honestly more excited to be his wife than be a bride. As for now, I guess we'll try not to listen to all the negative comments going our way. After all, this is our wedding and we are the ones who will be paying for it. Might as well have it our way. Right?

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